#8 Just Pray

Just Pray

By no means am I a crazy faithful Catholic boy. Yes, I break the rules, and no, I don't agree with everything my church expects me to believe. However, this doesn't mean that my relationship with god is any different than it would be if I were the perfect member of the Catholic Church.

For a large sum of the past two years I have found my relationship with God to be intensely strained. I would question my beliefs in my church and in God himself almost constantly. I never let myself think that I didn't believe in God but there was definitely room for denial in my day-to-day thoughts.

I would continue to pray every once in a while but when I would pray, I would feel like I was just talking to myself, like God wasn't really there listening to me. That was up until last week.

Last week was probably one of the worst weeks of my life. My aunt attempted suicide and then two days later my sister-in-law miscarried her first conceived child. How I was keeping it together those two days, I don't know. These events were constantly on my mind and just wouldn't seem to let up and give my mind some peace. I would be driving alone after school and ever so slightly fall apart at the idea of not getting to hold what was supposed to be my first niece or nephew, and not knowing why my aunt thought that taking her life was a good idea.

One night while I was in the shower I began to tear up as I thought about that week’s events. I sat down in the shower and let the warm water run over my head and routinely, when I don't know what else to do, began to pray, but this prayer wasn't like the other prayers I had been experiencing. As I sat and prayed to god in my shower I began to sob, not because of the events of that week, but because of the fact that for the first time in a long time, I felt god there with me as I prayed. It felt as if he placed his hand on my back and was telling me that everything was going to work out and things would be okay.

Since that day, I have not completely healed my relationship with God but I definitely got a good start.

Like I said, before that night, praying didn't seem to be anything but me thinking to myself trying to give myself the slightest sliver of hope in a rough situation, but I never stopped praying and I have made it through some pretty rough times just fine.

So there you have it kids, whether praying is your thing or not, even if you just need to think to yourself and give your soul a sense of hope, Just Pray, because in the end, everything will turn out just fine.

#7 Don't forget to tell the people close to you that they are loved

Don't forget to tell the people close to you that they are loved

*I am not including actual names in this blog simply for the purpose of keeping my family’s privacy.

Today was one of the best days I have had for a while. Everything went so well, at least for me. There were many people that didn't have the best day today but I didn't let that change how mine was going.

Tonight while I was at my cousin’s birthday party I got an urgent call from my aunt. She didn't tell me what was wrong; she just asked me if I was with my mom and if she could talk to her. From the sound of her voice I knew that something was wrong. I handed my mom the phone and as my aunt talked to my mom I saw the joy drop away from my mom’s face. I became very nervous. My mom continued to talk to my aunt for a few more seconds then hung up grabbed her purse and rushed outside. I was still nervous, and now very curious, so I jumped up from my seat and followed my mom outside. She was checking her voice mail with a very confused look on her face. At the time, I thought that something was wrong with my aunt, like maybe she was sick or something. When my mom got done listening to her voice mail I asked her what was wrong with my aunt and she said that it wasn't her that it was my uncle.

I couldn't think of anything that would be wrong with my uncle, his life just seemed so easy going and happy. Next my mom called my uncle and talked to him for about ten minutes. Hearing my mom speak to my uncle made me so entirely nervous. I couldn't really tell what was wrong; I just knew that it had to do with my aunt, my uncle’s wife. Once my mom was off the phone I asked her what happened.

Before I tell you what happened, let me explain some things about my aunt so that you might better understand what I am going to tell you. My aunt has lymes disease. It is something that she has dealt with for a very long time that makes her life very difficult. She has had to take so many medications and worry constantly about everything in her life. The time has drawn near for her to get her next dose of medication but the medication costs a very large sum of money that she just doesn't have. My aunt is a gentle soul, as is her husband. They live in Northern California where my uncle trains horses. Being that my aunt enjoys a simple life, lymes is hard for her because it forces her to pay extra close attention to everything she does.

This morning my aunt decided that she just couldn't take it anymore and decided that she was going to attempt suicide by taking a large amount of pills. After taking the pills she changed her mind about things and called a friend to take her to the hospital. My aunt has now been in the hospital all day as the doctor’s work swiftly to remove the drugs from my aunts system.

This is not something that I could have ever imagined my aunt trying. She always seems so very happy. I find it very hard to understand the dark place that a person must be in to try and take their own life.

When I got home all I could think about was my Aunt. I sat and thought about how maybe, just maybe, if I would have told her that I loved her today or yesterday, maybe she wouldn't have decided to try and take her own life. This leads me to my rule about life for this blog.

We can't always expect for people that we truly care about to just know that we love and care for them. As of today, I will take advantage of ever opportunity I have to tell the ones I care about that I love them. You never know when the ones you love will be taken away from you.

So there you have it kids, this year be sure you Don't Forget To Tell the People Close To You That They Are Loved, it just might save someone’s life.

I know that suicide is something that people really don't agree with, including me. However, regardless of your opinions or beliefs I would really appreciate it if you avoided those types of comments. Thank you.